What You Said. What You Should’ve Said. What You Didn’t Say.

Life interactions are based upon communication. We communicate to say what we want, get what we want, express our feelings on a particular subject, and to state our happiness or dissatisfaction with a life-situation or life-event.

Communication is one of the most natural forms of the human experience. We learn to communicate at a very early age. How we communicate, how we express our thoughts and our feelings is initially programmed into us by the way those around us communicate. Generally, we first learn how to express our thoughts, feelings, and desires by the way our parents and our other family members communicate. This is why those individuals who rise out of a loud, boisterous family generally communicate in loud patterns. On the other hand, those who come from a quiet, contemplative family-scape generally are must subtler in their forms of expression and communication.

Once we have had the basic foundations of our communication skills taught to us by our parents and siblings we then move forward and develop our own unique methods of communication guided by our individual personalities. It is quite common to understand that an adult that uses yelling and screaming to express what they are feeling found that as a child they could get want they wanted if they cried and threw a tantrum. On the other hand, if an individual allows people to rant and rave but does not become involved in their confrontational communications it can then easily be understood that they subconsciously learned, early in life, that expressing one’s self in this manner does not lead to any desired end. Thus, they remain passive with their communication skills.

In life, we each are provided with the ability to speak our thoughts. This is, of course, tempered by where we find ourselves in history and to which socioeconomic, political, or religious backdrop we are born.

Once we understand the definition of our communication skills, and which way of communicating is most beneficial and rewarding to our life, we then move forward and say what we say guided by our beliefs, our ego, and our understanding of interpersonal relationships. Some people are very conscious and thoughtful in how they communicate, other are rude, unthinking, and judgmental in all that they say. Who are you? And, are you honest with yourself in the way you communicate and how your communications are interpreted by other people? The fact is, many people are so lost in their exaggerated sense of Self that they do not even take the time to consider how the manner in which they communicate is affecting others that they speak with and/or the world around them as a whole.

In each of our lives we express how we feel — we say what we say. How many times have you said something that you wish you had not said? How many times have you said something that you believed came out wrong? How many times have you, once you have expressed something that you believed came out wrong or was not a correct or righteous expression of your thoughts, did you work to correct what you said? The answer to these questions provides you with deep insight into how you view the world, how you view yourself, and whether or not you have a truly respectful understanding of life and the lives of those that exist around. For, if more times than not you stand firm in what you have said, even if it was hurtful to someone/anyone or anything then this fact alone allows you to peer into yourself and see that you are a very self-centered individual. Moreover, if you do not care how what you have said affects other people and life events, it tells you that you exist in a space of vanity and unaware self-righteousness; sociopathy if you will. From this insight and understanding it allows you, if nothing else, to understand how you perceive this world. It also tells you that you may need to take a look at yourself, how you perceive others, and how you will be remembered because your life is defined through your words and your actions.

Aside from simply what we say, when we communicate, and how we say it, there are times in the midst of conversations when we realize the direction in which the conversation is heading and we consciously choose to not say what we internally wish to say. This is called, “Discretion,” and it is one of the highest forms of selfless, interactive human understanding. …You know what you want to say. …You know what you could say is the truth. …But, you choose not to say it because the truth, at least in that particular situation, will only cause the discussion you are involved with to progress towards the realms of negativity.

The thing about human existence is, many people are so lost within their own lying-mind that they do not have the ability to truly look within themselves and to see or care about what effect they are having on others. From this is born the mindset of irrational justification for a person’s thoughts, words, and actions. Therefore, to not fall prey to this selfish mindset you can simply employee your own internal sense of discretion. From this conscious action you are left
whole and self-aware enough to not have to express what you think in order to make yourself be seen as something more and/or better. This is a true state of self-actualization.

Many interpersonal conversations are based upon one person trying to make their thoughts and their feelings more prominent and more definitive than the other person or persons. But, this is not true interactive conversation. This is ego. And, many people base their entire form of conversation upon attempting to project that they know more, that they are more right than the other person(s) involved in the conversation. I am sure we have all interacted with people like this. But, if we possess enough interpersonal wisdom to not have to prove that our point is the
right point then this is where a true understanding of interactive human consciousness comes into play.

This fact is much harder to emulate when you are in a conversation with a person who has or is doing bad things. When they are hurting you and/or other people via their conscious or unconscious actions. Then, the term, “Bite your tongue,” really comes into play because though you posses the discretion to not need to win every discussion you enter into, what they are doing is simply wrong, and though you may want to express the truth via your words, your higher-self keeps you from doing so.

As is the case with all life, we each rethink what we have done or said once an unsavory situation has occurred. This too is the case with interpersonal conversations, especially when you have been forced to interact with an individual exhibiting lower consciousness by lying, changing the facts, or misrepresenting the truth. "I should have said…," is a common thought when we internalize these conversations after the fact. None-the-less, it is up to you to be more than that person, not fret about what you didn’t say, and move on and away from this type of individual as a person like this is their own worst enemy and is setting up the pathway for their own lack of life-fulfillment and self-destruction by not only being dishonest in their words but thereby projecting their own sense of lack of self-awareness to the entire world.

Conversation is at the root of human grown and expanding understandings. It also provides you with a microscope to view into the mind of those you are conversing with.

Know yourself. Know your own mind. Refine your interactive skillset and move forward into the world never spreading falsehood, only speaking your own truth in the most palatable manner possible.

Words lead to actions. What actions do you want to instigate?