When You’ve Done Nothing Wrong or Have You?

Life is a curious conglomerate of actions and interactions. People are all around us. From this, we are set to encounter them in various ways throughout our lifetime. Some of these encounters are pleasant but some are not. In the instances that are less than ideal, we are thrown into the pit of disarray and though we had no desire to encounter this type of life interaction we are forced to do just that.

Negative life interactions can come at us in any number of ways. The one defining factor is that it is certain that we would have never wanted the occurrence to occur in the first place.

The list of these undesired interactions are as long as life itself. And, as we travel though life’s passageway, we will each encounter them to varying degrees. Though we may try to protect ourselves from them, there is no way to emerge unscathed — having never encountered one.

In some cases these interaction are accidents on the part of the person unleashing them. For example, most people who get into auto accidents do not desire to do so. But then, there are the people who are simply unconscious participants of life and they do not think about others. Instead, they only think about themselves. These people are perhaps the most dangerous in that they are not even aware of what they are unleashing upon another person. When confronted with this fact, for the most part, all an individual who behaves in this manner will do is deny any responsibly and/or make excuses for their actions. At the root of their essence, an individual who operates from this mindset, is simply wrong — they live life focused only upon themselves and do not care what they do to others or what events they set into motion.

Finally, there is the person who performs wrong acts, on others, very consciously and by design. These people are the criminals, the egomaniacs, the sociopaths, and the insane. Though we each, no doubt, attempt to avoid people of this caliber, at times in our life we may be forced to come into contact with them and from this, and based upon their actions, our life may never the same.

At the heart of life interaction(s) and the consequence(s) based upon those interactions, we who walk the path of consciousness must come to terms with how to encounter all life events and move forward once one of these undesired life occurrences has taken place. From this, though we may not be the one responsible for setting a life event into motion, we may emerge stronger and wiser from having encountered it.

For each event, the reaction to the action will be somewhat different and there is no one universal method for how to deal with all of them. The primary thing that should be accomplished, however, is that you walk away having been the most that you can be and having encountered the person or persons and informed them they did something wrong. Post that, the best you can hope for is that life can move on.

Now, here arises a problem, many people live their life in a constant state of denial and justification. Though they may be very wrong and have set a negative course of events into motion, many will deny it to their dying day — especially to the face of those whom they have injured or to the ears of anyone whom will listen to them. This does not take away or diminish what they have done; however, it is simply a constant of the existence for those people who base their life upon living in a state of denial.

The fact of human existence is, many people are willing to lie, at any moment, in order to protect themselves from what they believe will occur if they own up to the truth. This is not right but it is the way life is.

Liars are unconscious contributors to this life-space but they are everywhere. This being understood, you cannot define your reaction and ultimate recuperation by framing your existence upon the truth or the lies that come out of the mouth of the person who has caused you to encounter a negative life experience. Instead, you must express your dissatisfaction; via whatever method you may have, and then move forward to the best of your ability in your life.

But, life is complicated. Everyone has a reason for his or her reason. It is at this point that life becomes convoluted.

Let’s look at a few examples to hopefully gain a deeper understanding of the cause and the causation factor for the unleashing of negative life events, what can occur from them and how you could behave if you experience one.

Recently, here in the States, a group of African-American women were taking a wine tasting train ride through the California wine country, enjoying their wine, and having a grand old time. A grand old time, so much so, that they became very loud in their laughter and joylessness. As they were are on a train with numerous other people who began to complain about their loudness, they were initially nicely asked to tone down their voices and their exuberance. Perhaps due to the alcohol, they did not. Thus, the train stopped and police officers escorted them off. From this, rose the call of racism.

The news channels all ran stories on this occurrence. The talking heads spoke, some claimed, “Racism!” Others stated, “African-Americans are louder and should be left alone because that is simply the way they are.” Some said, “If they were white, this would not have happened.” But, that is not true. Have you ever been around someone who is very loud and they are destroying the atmosphere you paid for? Black or White, you do not care. The fact is, we each need to be conscious of our actions and behave in an appropriate manner in accordance with where we find ourselves. This is life. If you are not, you set negative life occurrences into motion and negatively affect the lives of those around you. Thus, it is you who is to blame, not the person who complained about your unacceptable actions.

For example, I know this oftentimes overly exuberant, young white male. He and his friends got onto an airplane. When the stewardess was demonstrating how to put on the life vest, he got up and began to mimic her. Yes, it was in fun but it was not appropriate for the environment where he and his friends found themselves. As such, they were evicted from the plane and ban from ever flying on that airline again. Racism? No, simply an appropriate reaction to an action?

Here lies the issue; most of us are conscious and try to be appropriate in all of our life actions and interactions. We think before we act. Other, however, are either uncaring or unconscious. From this, they perform inappropriate actions that negatively affect the lives of others.

In life, we must each be conscious of what we do and whom we do it to. We must study our environment and think before we act. This is the definition of a conscious individual.

There is also the other side of the issue, the place where people attempt to overreach with any power they may have in order to establish their placement in society and the food chain. To illustrate, I will tell you of a small life encounter that I had a few months ago that was both amusing and angering for I was accosted but I had done nothing wrong.

I was leaving a store that I had shopped in for years-upon-years. I was carrying the few items I had purchased out to my car. Just as I was about to open my truck, I hear a voice behind me, “Hello, hello!” I turn and it was the store manager. I questioned, “Me?” Yes, he wanted me.

To cut to the chase, a new employee had seen me walking out of the store with my items. As I try to do all I can for the environment, in any small way I can, I generally say, “No,” to plastic bags and simple carry my purchased items out in my hands. The new employee, not knowing me, assumed I had stolen them. I mean it wasn't like I was looking all sketchy or anything. There I was, fifty-six years old, wearing a Hugo Boss sport coat, three-hundred dollar Nike tennis shoes, a Rolex, I had a pocket full of money, and I am being accused of stealing — this, by a man, (the manager), who knows me very well. He asked me to come back into the store and show him my receipt in the presence of the other employee. Which I did. I then walked back to my car and put my items in my truck.

By my nature, I am always amused at life. I forever see the ridiculousness of action, reaction, and human nature. So, my initial emotion was amusement. But, then that emotion began to change. I became angry. Who were these people to accuse me of stealing? Me, someone who has never stolen anything in my entire life! I walked back in and confronted the manager. He apologized but what does an apology really mean and what does it truly repair. It is simply words. And words have no true meaning. Action is the only true test in life.

Having done all I could do, based upon anger and condemnation, I left the store. What else could I do? I decided to never return. And, that is sad for I truly enjoyed going to that shop.

You see, here lies the essence of this discourse; even though the truth is, you have done nothing wrong, people set life events into motion all around you, all for the time, and you are the one who is forced to deal with them. Whether it is the loud person who is thrown off of the train or a person who accuses you of a crime that you did not committee, the people who set negative actions into motion are the ones who are responsible, yet, you are the one left dealing with the consequences. In some instances, these are minor events and the emotions and the life reactions that they cause are quickly forgotten. In other cases, they may come to define your entire future. Though you were not the one at fault, you did nothing wrong, you are none-the-less the person who’s life has been changed due to the actions of another.

One of the African-America women, who had the aforementioned experience on the wine-train, claimed she would never be the same. And, I get it. If you were pulled off a train that you were having loads-and-loads of fun on by police officers, that would be pretty traumatizing. But, who’s fault was it? Had her group kept their interactions to an appropriate level, they would have had no problems with the other passengers and they would not have been escorted off of the train.

Get loud, you call attention to yourself. When you’re loud, if the people around you don’t want to hear what you have to say, there will be consequences.

Life is complicated. Like I have long, semi-jokingly stated, “Enlightenment is easy. It’s life that’s hard.”

So, as we pass though life and we encounter these events, it is essential to make the right decisions in the moments they occur. Because here is the fact, the person who has done something negative to you or set a negative course of events into motion is probably either not going to care, feel that they had the justification to do so, or play the victim card and claim that their face, their race, their thoughts, or their mind were infringed upon. Or, they will simply lie. Thus, what are you left with? You will never be able to gain true redemption without having that life event; they set in motion, undone. But, it never can be undone. At best, all you will have is your appropriate reaction to their action. Then, you will need to move along not holding on to what another person has done to your life as best as you can. From this, no matter where or by whom a life event was instigated, during your existence, you will be able to maintain control and put your own definition upon it.

That’s the best you can hope for.